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and i like surprising you because there is this laugh that bubbles up from some under-place, small + subterranean, and when it comes up it comes up fast and it can’t be helped, and i love it more than almost anything then. i love it more than the face, and i love the face enormously, but the laugh is the face with all its walls down, the face in its original state & before it knows anyone is watching, and i would do almost anything to get to it.

i would say almost anything, i would make a fool of myself in seven languages, i would bring up the platypus, all five of them. i would get lost deliberately, i would start a sentence with no idea where it’s heading just to see if you follow me into it. i would advance theories i don’t believe in + defend them past the point of reason just to be ridiculous. i would invent convictions, die on hills i have not even visited, just to disagree with you, to witness the whole stupid spectacle + enjoy it oh so much. i would try to hold eye contact, which is something i can do now because we have been practicing. i am much better at it than i was, and i would hold it longer than strictly necessary + past the point of comfort just to make a point about having improved.